Healing

Haaayyy...

Still right here. Lying in the corner of my bed. Still dealing with my insomniac. Where I was one and a hald decades ago. The difference was I have a larger bed. I have my own room. And A LOT OF THINGS ON MY MIND. 

Six days ago, I almost had suspected to be  positive for Covid-19. It started out as a sore throat, (which I experience many times through vaping) the next day after I finished revising Aiai delas Alas' script I felt dizzy. Which is very unusual for my insomniac. Hello! I can fight for 3 days without winking. Then the next thing is fever. Chills. But without netflix. LOL. My taste buds? Yeah I stil can taste the food. But there's a strange taste to it that I really can't digest. So techinically I lost my appetite. My sister even let me sleep alone in my own room for social distancing.

 (which is what I really wanted to happen!) 

I really knew I don't have the virus because I am fully vaccinated two months ago. So what is happening to my body? 

Perhaps my body collapses because of my diet? Since I have insomniac (which got worsen and worsen) and I am working out 10pm to 3am. Then because of the humidity in my room feels like hell on my sleeping hours. And I can't turn on my Inverter AC. 

All because of one reason...

I don't have a job. I'm broke...

Yes. After producing a game show. Which I never recieve credits aside from the CBB and IMDB. Thank you very much! And you're welcome BNGS! A pandemic gameshow which many people benefitted specially the "Beneficiaries" behind camera. 

My own show which I pitched, presented to the boss, and ended up not the one headwriting it. It's okay. If I just receieved a royalty fee. Well. It would be best to have more courtesy. Because on the last taping, I was miscasted. I just felt I've been used. Exploited. 

I should have another show on the rival network but then when BNGS extends, CMO told me to choose. But it's about choosing the loyalty. But during that time I was torn between my "stability" with BNGS. Maybe not in a "respected way" but in a "paycheck way." Then if I chose CMO I will go back to my position 14 years ago. Which is not bad. If I will be recieving the same paycheck I have in BNGS. 

So in short. I begged off CMO. Without pre-prod pay. But good thing. I pushed through two of my friends to work inside CMO. Which later on became a bad thing. With o e of my "friends."

Woo! Another so-so-so-called-Friend in line. "Now... Sashay Away! 

Wait Kandy Muse... I'm not ready to let you go." Mama Ru says. 

But how can I let him go? 

He left me a debt! Wow! "The gulp the cheek the nerve the audacity" says Tayce of RPDR UK2. 

And to give you a crash course of what I'm talking about. There was Dragmother... Me. And a Dragdaughter... Him. Well she don't look Her today. So everything the dragmother worked for life is witnessed by this dragdaughter. And when CMO asked the dragmother to looked for her team for this gig, she handpicked her dragsister. And the dragdaughter frowned and insisted to join the gig. And then the team of three drag family. The Dragmother provides everything. Leaving a word "make sure you'll get it back when you got suceeded."

And the Dragmother has to prance out of the gig. And the club she chosen has stopped operating.  The team who continued the journey earns money and continues to showcase. The dragmother became broke.

End of story. 

It's expected for men to be USER FRIENDLY. Especially now. I don't have any. They can't use me. So, they are all gone. Sashay Away. Karma is on the way! 

But. I never expected my friends to be like them. Really. 

But expectation differs from reality!!! Look at them now. They're gone! They left me alone. But it's fine. Don't Panic. It's pandemic. I understand where are they coming from. Yes. I have nothing today. So what can you offer to them? What can they get something from you? Nothing. I have thousands of friends. And I also know my worth. If you don't need me, I don't need you too. Now Sashay Away! 

Going back to the CMO story. I just wished I just made a right decision from continuing BNGS. Or I just wished I was never that honest and open to everyone that I've been continuing to pursue two different jobs on two rival networks. Cause I saw some doing that effortlessly. And unbothered. #SanaOLL. 

Today marks my so far #flufree but course with continues self medications and mythological practices and prayers I was healed. 

In just a couple of weeks I will cross the age of Mid 30s. 

My birthday wish. Is to be healed financially. That is the root of everything. Specially what this post is all about. 

Hope is the most dangerous thing to loose. So yesterday I amrecieved a phone call of hope. At first I don't want to answer it because I thought it was from the credit card company. SMH. I caught off guard. And right before I know I just finished a quick english interview. 

The interviewer ask me, "what drives you upon choosing a different career?"

I just said...

I WANT A NEW LIFE. 

Six days have wasted. I skipped editing my weekly podcast. If you have time. Can you please listen to it? New episodes every week! #SanaOLL

#SanaOLL Comedy Podcast